first peek at 3.6mm

thats the baby. at 5 weeks old 3.6mm. though technically the black dot is the yolk sac and the tiny weeny white dot is baby (i can't really see it too).

i still can't believe that i'm really pregnant. anyways when we went to the gynae yesterday and also to let her know my current condition, the moment she said scan, both of us were super excited! we get to see baby! but then when she said she have to do an inside scan, i did a double take. i was like, huh? inside scan? can't you do a belly scan first?

so she was ok, though i doubt you can see anything through it as its still very early preganancy. but she tried and ya, can't see anything.

so when she prepared to do the inside scan, she keep telling me to relax, not to be so tense. i felt like taking the scanner and hit her on the head man! why not i do an inside scan on you and tell you to relax?! you're a freaking stranger and i have to show you my thing and its so uncomfortable!

as she slob on a glob of ky and insert the scanner in, my heart literally stopped as i see my uterus for the first time, ha! at first i could'nt see anything and i was very worried there's no baby. but, but when the moment of truth arrived, and i saw baby for the first time, i think i almost cried. almost.

firstly, baby is inside uterus and correct position as gynae says, and secondly that feeling when you know there's a life inside you is simply indescribeable. then she went on to comment how my uterus is in the wrong direction and i got confused. i asked her what that means, and she said its just in the opposite direction but its ok. thanks alot for the affirmation gynae!

she asked john if he wanted to see and suddenly i felt shy about exposing myself to him, ha! anyways he was looking intently on the screen and when gynae say she can see baby puslating and asked if we can see it, i said no and john gave an excited yes, yes i can see! if i was'nt lying down exposed, it might have been funny given the situation.

anyways, all is well and i've been given 2 weeks mc to stay home to rest. and she gave me a hormone jab which i have to take 4 times during these 2 weeks. and a bunch of hormone pills and folic acid to support the preganancy as she says.

but God says none shall suffer miscarriage and none feeble among you. i'm a fruitful vine! my children are like olive plants! so i'm not worried about it at all because God does not give half blessings. and God does not take blessings away from you. and before i take my pills, i'll take the holy communion first to proclaim my blessings and protection over baby. children are indeed a blessing from Him.

baby is already more than a conqueror!

guess who's coming?!

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home kit

doctor's kit

for the uninitiated, thats a preganancy kit and + means positive. yup, i'm pregnant and the husband is mighty pleased and super excited about it.

the funny thing was he kept insisting me to go test it. i was'nt showing any signs or symptoms like morning sickness, loss of appetite or feeling hungry all the time. i mean other than the missed period which isn't a big deal as mine can get irregular, so there he was insisting that i test it.

so we took 2 home pregnancy test and when it all came out positive, he was beaming from ear to ear whereas i was completely dumbfounded. i was in a dazed and my hands were shaking and it felt so unreal! we were planning for the baby but it was so fast and when it really did happened, its just so unbelievable!

so when a trip to the gp confirmed again the pregnancy, he made calls to our parents and friends to share the good news. he's like totally super excited and he looks so cute man, ha.

for now, the gp says i've to rest as much as possible because i've some spotting. spotting in early pregnancy is not uncommon but it should not be overlooked. we've prayed over baby and me and we believed all is well. jesus has paid for this pregnancy and it shall be a beautiful and smooth journey for us both!

and we thank you all our dear friends for your well wishes and offerings to clean the house, ha!

its so brief

3 weeks since we're back from the honeymoon but no posts, no pictures ha.. was reminded of it during dinner by ym... thank you babe for reading my blog.. hope it has been entertaining for you!

we had a super lovely time in london, where everyday was filled with many walks and sights to see and of course the endless shopping and binging trips. one thing i can safely say is, plays are not my cup of tea. we went to 3 plays and all 3 plays, i simply fell asleep. not sure if its the warm air, the tiredness after all the ahopping or the accent that i can't catch. or maybe its just all the factors, ha.

well even if its a honeymoon, we still had quarrels. one quarrel even lead me to almost being lost! he was being angry with me for something and i was irritated by him being angry at me, so he was walking very fast and i trailed behind him. and so i thought wouldn't it really freaked him out if i really got lost?! haha...

so what happens was we entered this theatre and i followd him up. but the usher said it was'nt time for us to enter, so when i saw him walking down the stairs, i purposely walked real slow and make him lose sight of me. then i waited by the entrance, hidden by all the big ang mohs. i do not have my phone with me and so he was'nt able to reach me. i thought that was quite fun.. but come to think of it, it is really fun, ha!

anyways, he managed to find me and to end the story, we went for the play where i promptly fell asleep and him enjoying the show.

now.. i am going to sleep. more exciting things to share real soon!

having honey on the moon

when tomorrow comes, we'll be leaving on an airplane
embracing our new found freedom.

in a city which you loved, and one that hold wonders for me,
this is our very own summer escapade.

no expectations, no worriesome labour,
just you and me, heartfelt walks and buttery kisses.

in time when we remember this wonderful chapter,
the time of our lives made possible by jesus!

no sleep

i could'nt sleep last night. well technically i went to bed at 12 plus but woke up at 4.30am when i heard you rustling in the room. after that i just could not fall asleep till 7am.

i tossed and turned, i fidgeted, got up for a drink of water, went to the bathroom, read the newspaper and lastly, i prayed. till i finally fallen asleep and dreamt i went to ns. i think that woke me up again. ha.

when i close my eyes, my hyperactive imagination will kick in and go into overdrive. no way to stop it. even my mind knows something my heart has been telling me from the start. it doesn;t makes sense to you thats because it doesn't make sense to me either.

jesus, why? i don't want to run away again. when all the time your help is there and i just refused to run to you. this time, before i fall in too deep, let your rivers of running water washed it away from me. cleansed me with your living word. i don't want to fall into pieces again. you have made me whole. the brokeness has long gone.

love me tenderly with your beautiful love.

confusion of emotions

woah, i looked at my previous post and 1 month just flew past. maybe i should just post once a month now, heez.

this again is a collection of random thoughts just coming to my mind as i let my fingers do the typing.

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sometimes i do super crazy things. i remember back in sec school days, i had a crush on this boy from another class. so in order to know more about him, i will try means and ways to know his phone number, and when i got his number, i will call him up but hang up when he answers. and there was another time when i found out where he lived, i dragged my poor friend along to his
house and just walked along his house corridor. talked about ultimate stalking 101 man, ha!

sometimes i feel lazy. i just wanna laze around the whole day. or when work is super crazy, i will just walked around pretending i am doing something just so i could do nothing. sometimes a certain memory might bring back certain emotions that i don't want to remember. yet i linger on just a little longer just so i can feel nostalgic about it.

sometimes fuzzy moments like spacing out during meetings, church service or conversations can be well, spaced out. just don't get caught.

right now, i feel my heart is racing towards something dangerous. a boundary where i know i should'nt go yet i am allowing this wave of excitement just lobbing me in. live dangeously? maybe. maybe not. it always ends in knots.

where does all this leads to? just a smile and a salute makes my day. just a little pause in your footsteps, just a little jingling of your keys, just a little glimpse into your life.

lets dance in the moonlight.

trip, trip

hmm strange fact for now.. i'm watching a football match alone without my husband. champions league match between liverpool vs chelsea. we support man united though. so i don't know why i'm watching it anyway, ha!

oops chelsea just scored again and its 3-1 to chelsea. hahahahaha with *evil laughter*
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its a long weekend this week and we're heading off to fraser's hill! yeah!! i went there when i was 11 or 12 and it left a deep impression in me. its this small little quaint place up in malaysia that has nice little quaint cottages with awesome full english breakfast! and i've been telling the husband all about it, raving about the cool air and breakfast. but basically there's nothing much to do there. unless you like to take long walks and erm, more long walks.

anyhoo, we're excited about this trip and really looking forward to just spending time alone with each other. just walking, lazing around, hand in hand, stealing a few kisses, having breakfast, sipping tea and breathing in the cool mountain air.

we'll be driving up with miss gps and according to the manual, she'll get us there right where we want to go, ha!
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ok this is totally random but petr cech is really a good goalkeeper! maybe liverpool should try to buy him over?