I guess its because I missed him so much and I'm glad he's back with us that I'm now so philosophi-ticated, makes sense?

Lately, I've been looking at boys. Young boys, teenage boys, big boys and old boys (aka grown man). I'll observed their behaviour, attire, looks, mannerisms and all, like really scrutinized closely. Some boys are rowdy, brashful, cheeky, loud, smelly and others are quiet, gentle, geeky and soft-spoken.

When I looked at them, it makes me wonder how my Benjamin will grow up to be. Will he be the sensitive, gentle boy or the cheeky and playful type? And sometimes when I come across the vulgar and crude ones, it makes me shudder to think of him becoming like that.

Which brings me to this, it really is all about the friends he hangs out with. Erm of course its also about the upbringing but when he reaches the school going age, his friends will definitely play a huge part in his life. That's the time when he'll spent a huge chunk of his time in school and I'm pretty sure he'll have not much time for us, especially when he'll discover the species of the other kind, girls.

And right from the start when we'll know we're having a kid, I guess a part of me has mentally prepared myself to let loose the apron's string when he reaches that age. Well, from my experience no kid wants a parent who controls them like prisoner, just ask me!

Starting now till then, I'll have only 17 more years with my baby! My baby! Gosh! It was like yesterday he was just born and come tomorrow he'll be all grown up and ready to fly! I don't want!

mama, the head banging starts now! rock on!