VERY PRESENT help in trouble

"God is my refuge and strength, a VERY PRESENT help in trouble.

Therefore I will not fear"

psalms 46:1

God is my VERY PRESENT help in my lack, my VERY PRESENT help in wisdom,

my VERY PRESENT help in debt, my VERY PRESENT help in handling situations

which i cannot control.

was feeling moody and took out the bible to read. and while reading through Deu 28 and pronouncing the blessings over myself and my family, i could not help but started crying. there's just this overwhelming something that came over me. as i was blessing myself, i was also thinking of the past few months of lack and struggles as the wei has to start a new job and also pay off whatever bills we had for the new house.

it was a huge burden that he has to carry it himself and i could not do anything about it.

i felt little, fearful and anxious.

yes, though i may appear indifferent and aloof, but it does'nt mean i do not care.

only God knows how much i want it to succeed. the results may not be encouraging, the fruits are slow and giving it up may seems like a threat, but perhaps, just perhaps, its true?

i want to share this burden with you, really i do. and its time i have to put us first. it is no longer myself anymore.

so Lord, when the time comes for me to let go, you prepare the table before me. and i will let it go and be still, and know that You are God.