Thursday, June 7, 2012

A Heartful (3)

Right at the beginning when I tested positive on this current pregnancy, I was not happy about it. I felt that this baby came at the wrong time. We're on a tight financial situation, living on a shoe string budget and facing other challenges.

I was even angry with the baby and would think really negative thoughts about it. Not going to spell it out loud but it was really bad bad.

So for a few months, I was really nonchalant about the whole baby thing till one day I felt it kicked.

And then it seems alive to me.

And then the change occurred within me.

I begin to be more thankful and to be more positive about the situation I'm in and learnt to be grateful for the people and things I have.

I learnt to do without more and learnt to live with less.

And as the baby grew in me, I've also come to fall more and more in love with him each day. Every movement and kicks I feel, is an assurance to me that he's still alive and growing. Everyday my belly gets bigger, is a day closer to seeing him and holding him in my arms.

I don't think of the what ifs of our situation anymore. Instead I'll focus on the now of our lives. True that we're living in the consequences of the past mistake, but its what we make out of it that makes us better and stronger as a family.

You never know what you're truly capable of until life throws you a curveball.

P.S: Baby 2 is moving quite violently as I write all these down. For all the kicks and punches he has been giving me since week 16, I think we're even now.

Linking up with Mum in the Making

                                                          Mum in the Making


missustay said...

totally with you on the learning to live with less (bags), especially since my #2 is not planned either! we had wanted to wait till i did more with my career and finances. i only just returned to the workforce last Oct!

but well, every child is a gift from God. we parents will have to learn how to manage as we go along.


life-muse said...

Thank you for the encouragement! I've also just returned to work last March after taking a year off work, so still struggling now, but its getting better! :)

Ruth said...

Not everything in life goes as planned, but when it come to a new life, I know that God makes no mistake about it. It's great that you're trying to be positive about the whole situation. Like you said, you'll never know what you're truly capable of, and I believe you are stronger than you think *hugs*

life-muse said...

Thank you Ruth, you always have a kind word here :).