Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Lonely is as lonely gets

The husband travels often for work, and the most he has been away was 3 weeks straight. Most times he would come home for a week before leaving the next and sometimes, it seems like he would transit a weekend at home before flying off again.

When one of my friends knew that he was travelling so often for work, she casually asked me if I was worried. I was at first confused by her question and answered,"Of course! I'm worried about his safety and whether he'll be tired, blah blah" before realizing what she really meant.

Hidden in the question was actually, "Am I worried he'll stray?"



Not that I know he will stray but surely there has got to be a reason before the straying starts. We're very open with this and talked about it before. And the one thing he told me was this. For a man to stray, there has got to be something's missing in the marriage. And that something is always sex. Period.

From a man's perspective, when a woman starts to tease and flirt or pardon my language, 'cock tease' a man, it would be very hard (NO PUN INTENDED, OKAY!) to reject that sort of attention. She doesn't even need to be extremely attractive, just pleasant and comfortable to talk with and add in just that bit of seduction whether intentionally or not, the man will fall for her.

And it's not just the man who'll always strays. For all you know, I might be the one who strays.

From a woman's perspective, when a man shows you attention in little ways like being a listening ear, always offering to help you in whatever ways he can, compliments you, just being there for you emotionally, little by little, the attachment will grow.

But I think for me personally, it stems from a loneliness in the marriage before all these can happen. Because it sure gets lonely in the hotel room with no one to talk to, and back at home, it sure gets lonely with no one to cuddle up with.

Just saying.



MummyMOO said...

I agree with what you mentioned. In any case... to me, worrying wouldn't help matters.

Infidelity is a choice. It's whether one chooses to do it, or otherwise. Apart from sex (or lack thereof), there could be a million and one other reasons why a person chooses to jeopardise heart and home for moments whereby - for a guy: he can feel like the greatest stud on earth (I'm married yet I'm still desirable), for a woman: It's just nice to feel desirable and wanted all over again.

Ultimately, it all boils down to a person's character as well.

life-muse said...

Yes infidelity is always a choice, no such thing as you can't help it or she made the first move. There's always that split second decision of yes or no before you plunge into it.