moments

today, i am in a complexed mood.

i've many thoughts running through my head right now and feeling very confused.

i find myself thinking on friendships.

do we have the choice of dropping friends like how we decide to be friends too?

as when friendships are no longer in place i.e no contact, no hanging out and no effort at all, does it means the friendship has died?

i don't understand this concept. so if there's no more word from each other, in context the friendship has indeed fizzled out.

but don't the years spent together laughing, talking, walking matters anymore?

perhaps.

i find myself reminiscing about the past.

and the present.

i thought i had let go, but apparently, i have not.

it could be i'm very sentimental about the past, thats why or it could be my strong desire to crave for a deeper relationship with friends.

i don't know.

all i know is that friends are made of precious moments.

the moments that are shared bonding over silly laughs, serious talks, heartaches and life.

the moments when you think of each other, you pick up the phone just to chat. the moments of comfort when you lose something, your shoulder is there for the tears. moments of secrets, of intimacy, moments of craziness and moments of countless words spoken over each other.

these are the friendship moments.

and yet

i think i want to move on now.

i think to let go, it is to be free from you. free to be me again.

though the memories will always be there,

i am going to find my own place.

just like how you'll always have a place in my heart.