This morning as I was getting ready for work, I heard the door opened and a little voice sobbing,"Mama, I want you to sleep with me!"
My first reaction was, "Oh man, I should have left 5 minutes earlier!"
But as I watched this little voice sobbing and rubbing his eyes and stretching out his hands looking for me, I stooped and held him real close.
And yet the first words that came out of my mouth was, "Darling, Mama has to go to work".
I know. Face palm right.
After calming him down, I made his milk, carried him back to his bed, and after kissing and whispering I love you, I left.
And I reflect.
I really want to be a good mother. To be that kind of mother that not only works just so to buy the necessities but also to be the kind of mother that will be there to give him whatever support he needs. And I know its easy to say all these because he's just all of three years old now and so cute and fun to be with. But I truly hope when he gets into his teens and with all that emotional baggage that teens often goes through, I can still safely say this.
I will give you my utmost support. I will be with you. I cannot promise you that I will agree with whatever you might be doing, but know this. I am your mother and I love you. I am always thinking of you and it pains me to see you going through heartbreaks, rejection, failure, disappointments and struggles. But if it will make you become a better person, then I'll have to do the right thing. And to do the right thing does not mean it is going to be easy. It might hurt, it might bleed, it will be painful, but as long as its for your own good, then I am going to do it.
So, I think. Instead of being a good mother, I want to be the right mother.
Because sometimes being good does not mean doing right, and being right does not mean doing good.