Monday, November 25, 2013

And words are all I have

Last night as I was getting both boys ready for bed, Benjamin randomly said, "Bye bye Mama!"

I looked up and answered him back, "Ok, since you said bye bye to me, I'm going to go home now! (We were at my mum's place).

"But why Mama?"

"Because you said bye bye to me and now I'm going home!" With that, I turned and left the room.

At this point, I think he got worried because he came running after me and said, "Mama! Mama! Hello! Hello! Now I said Hello, you don't go ok?"

God, I really don't deserve this kid and probably should also slapped myself for scaring him like that.

This kid taught me that what I say to them really matters and in all honesty, I really cannot recall anything my parents said to me back then. My husband would probably roll his eyes and said that's only because I usually don't remember things much anyway.

But I truly beg to differ.

Words, no matter how and what have been spoken or written will definitely leave an imprint on us. They either built us up or tear us down. Brings us hope or leave us disappointed. Make good a promise, a vow, a pact or sours relationships, friendship or kinship.

I don't want you. 

Go away.

Shut up.

They're not just words. They're emotions in motion.

I try to refrain from using these words to my boys as much as possible. Not that I would tell them I do not want them any more, but I would use a softer approach like move aside or please keep quiet, Mama-is-having-a-terrible-headache-from-hearing-you-talk-all-morning kind of tone. You know? And now that Benjamin is older, perhaps it is time to introduce him to the Quiet Game. The one who speaks first lose. Ha!

I know this also applies to spouse. But I'll practice on the boys first.

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June said...

Haha, your last sentence cracked me up. So true, I think hurting and angry words tend to leave a lasting mark on us, no matter how they were said / in what sort of context...Good reminder!

Susan said...

The kids are always more sensitive by our tone and choice of words so it's a good reminder for me to speak kindly to her too. As for the quiet game, let me know how yours go. My daughter always breaks the rules :P

life-muse said...

He couldn't last 5 seconds. True story.