Wednesday, November 9, 2011

We all learn as we go along, don't we?

The thing with being a parent is, you really don't know what you're getting yourself in to. For sure when both of you got married and starts to plan for a child, the idea of having a cute little baby in your arms cooing and being all cuddly makes perfect sense right?


The thing they don't tell you is, that having a kid comes along this little known rule called Parenting.

the rearing of children
the methods techniques, etc., used or required in the rearing of children
the state of being a parent; parenthood
of or concerned with the rearing of children

When my sis and I were growing up, the only parenting I know of was when my mum took out the cane. She used it mainly to discipline us and she would freely unleashed it upon us too. I would be so embarrassed to go to school the next day because of the cane marks on my legs. 

And that's the main point. Its never about the pain but rather the humiliation of it.

This was the old school method. But what about the now? There are tons of information on the web on articles of parenting, methods of parenting and many claims to be effective, so how do you choose wisely?

For me, back in the early days when the son was born, I tend to use the cry-it-out method, only because I didn't know any better. Every time someone picks him up whenever he cried, I would told them not to do so as to not 'spoiled' him. Taught by the old school of thoughts that by doing so, it would cause the child to be clingy when in fact, its the opposite.

So I quickly dropped that and tried the attachment parenting method. With this new found method, I find that I'm able to respond and nurture my son in the best possible way. 

Well I'm no expert here but what I've learned from these two methods are, there is a time and season for it to put in place. 

For infants, using the attachment parenting is obviously a much better method to raise them. And as they grow older, strike a balance between the two methods. But then I'm not condoning using it when the kid has fell hurting himself and crying his lungs off while you stand there telling him to cry it out as its for his own good. Duh!

as the saying goes, Happy parenting makes for happy kids.
you can quote me

P.S: I think my son is just glad that his mum found out about attachment parenting from the Internet. If not, he would still be crying his lungs off. 


June said...

I decided cry-it-out wasn't for me and my babies either...more for attachment parenting, or if need be, gentle ways to wean off habits ("No cry sleep solutions"). You're right, it does require a balance, to teach independence at the right stages of growth.

life-muse said...

Yeah I'm really thankful I didn't follow through with the CIO method back then. And being a new
Mother being bombarded with so many 'well meaning' guidance sure is confusing. But I'm really just glad that I found out about attachment parenting :)